Problematic

Does anyone remember that show? Ryan Murphy has done better but it wasn't the worst. Although, it could be a little offensive. I am quite tired but I have a ton of work to do today. I should also shower. Saturday should be reserved for studying. Sunday an old friend will be visiting. I need to clean my apartment. I had been doing quite well at looking like a human being and I want to show that off. He's only ever seen me living in squalor. His acceptance of that natural state of being is what has kept our friendship alive. We met in middle school and he is now one of two good friends that I have known that long. Even so, we'll never be as close because I live in a completely different city. He's also an actual adult. With plans for investment properties and the capital to make those investments. i have no capital. I feel tingling around body pretty often. I wonder if this is something I should be concerned by. I have taken my medication for two days in a row. I wa...

I spent a lot of the morning listening to musicals. I am trying to keep up with writing one, you see. My goal is to finish writing it within a year. I don't know if I could manage by the end of the year. I am not sure how long a musical should be at this point. As far as script length anyway. My philosophy of science class is in a Philosophy Seminar room. It's quite cozy. An absence is noticeable. The class has gotten steadily smaller over the last few weeks, but I think the attendees have plateaued. I can't imagine anyone else falling off. Although no one is particularly engaged. There is this one boy, that I watch out of the corner of my eye. He's attractive and he nods along as the professor is speaking, as though he is having a private conversation that warrants a response. I imagine the professor appreciates it because of the glazed expressions and lack of eye-contact he receives otherwise. I am currently in a crowded coffee shop. It's called Bennu, and it ...

It's cooling down a bit. I enjoy the livid sky. It must have rained before I woke up because the ground is still dappled with puddles. There are a few things I have wanted to write about- the first being my "new" living space. As you know, it was recently christened by a housewarming party. It has now been identified as my space. There are mood boards on the walls. I clean it regularly. I own things. The palate is grey, blue and turquoise. When I moved in there was already a blue grey accent wall, which seemed perfect because I quite enjoy that shade. I don't know if it was the housewarming, exactly, but I am starting to feel more at home here. I am even beginning to like spending so much time alone, watching things, listening to music while I study, painting, enjoying time with The Kitten. It's becoming it's own reality. Any previous moment now feels like a dream. It has been almost a month since Isis passed, and I don't know if it's a weird copi...

Is the song currently playing. I have come to quite enjoy Ben Folds. I know these seem unrelated, but they both play on my Elliott Smith Pandora station. I like Ben Folds and Elliott Smith considerably more than the Pixies because they both have this kind of upbeat sound that masks the melancholy and darkness of their lyrics. I was up until 6am. I woke up at 10:40am. I finished Looking for Alaska. I now own two copies of a book I utterly detest. Je beaucoup deteste la chercher d'Alaska. Absolument. I foolishly left my physical copy at work the day my discussion board post on it was due so I had no way of citing my grievances. I am batting a 100 in that class so I determined it was worth it to shell out the 10 dollars for a Kindle copy; the bummer being that I can now never return that copy. It's truly terrible- but perhaps the most realistic depiction of life as a juvenile male that I have ever read? I am uncertain having never been one, but it's what I would assu...

As I listen to the soft sparkling crackle of my diet root beer I consider that I need to work on my storytelling ability. Less so than my homework, but I am in a malaise and do not feel inclined to study. So whatever distractions I can conjure up are welcome. I think the language I use has its flourishes, but I probably don't elaborate enough. I have been in the world of business too long. In an office people are quite annoyed when you drawl on. The inability to clearly and concisely explain a problem or what you want in an encounter makes you seem foolish and weak. I often seem foolish and weak, but I try to be direct in my own bumbling way. It is a poorly formed skill that only seems to detract from my creative life more than it assists my professional one. The last guy I drunkenly hooked up with was a pretty decent storyteller. Although, I think I had a gin and tonic and a bottle of champagne before he showed up. I might have been an easy audience. He did not really look lik...

I have been watching way too many KDramas lately. I'm like hitting peak usage. I'm bound to overdose. It's a surrogate for personal romance. I downloaded the Bumble app again a week or so ago, but I have not brought myself to actually speak to anyone. I can still see the people that already liked me, and I think a few of them are attractive, but I can't force myself to be interesting. Or mysterious. Or unique. I don't know what method will bring me love. The romance in front of me is a sure thing. It will be intense. It will be sweetened by a personal history of suffering on both sides. It will be honest and deep. I cannot assume the same of any relationship I enter into. I hit another milestone, though! This morning I put air in my own tires. It was a great accomplishment for me- it wasn't something I was taught when I started driving. When I got my own car there was a very nice guy I worked with who helped me air up my tires a few times. He was lovely, and...

My housewarming party was a success. Unrivaled and unwarranted. The Kitten scratched me, but that was the furthest extent of failures for the evening. She has since calmed down and feels secure, nuzzled in the newest, and softest, addition to our blanket collection. Have I mentioned that Dig is the single most thoughtful and amazing human being I know? He is. He brought three house warming gifts- two of which were puns. A candle, a blanket, and a wine holder. I feel like the wine holder is a pun as well, but I'm too stupid to get it. He's a literary genius. And the singular best guest in the world. You would be lucky to have him show up at one of your parties. I'm a little surprised he made time for mine. But enough of fan-girling Dig. Lies and Coll were also in attendance and they were looking fierce. Lies reminded me that I need to thrift/second-hand shop a little more often because the flared skirt she had on was killer and definitely not bought full price. Fast f...