Problematic

I haven't been able to sketch lately, but at least I have been able to write, I suppose. I feel I should be reading more as well. I began reading The Stranger again, and that has been a slow trough through venomous mediocrity. I don't know if I get it. I'm also trying to read Mansfield Park but have had some trouble getting through the foreword. Perhaps I don't need to read it, but I have learned some interesting perspectives from forewords and so I inclined to preserver (a word I thought had an e at the end). I have started receiving mail at my new apartment. Packages. In my fridge there is eggs, kale, mushrooms, baby carrots, diet cherry Dr. Pepper, Le Croix, and hard cider (a special summer ginger flavor!) Of these things I have only used the Dr. Pepper and the Le Croix. Oh, and a Brita! I purchased that on my second day here. There's clothes, blankets and books strewn across the floor which makes the space feel comfortably snug. The bed on one end, open to a...

My friends and I have hit a very weird age. We've accepted we are most likely never getting married (except for the one who did, that bitch) and have moved on to the pursuit of being fabulous drag-queens. All I have ever wanted in life is to be a beautiful gay boy in amazingly elaborate costume. RuPaul's Drag Race is our new home. I recognize that this is probably appropriation, but The Lonely Hearts Club Band can't escape who they are any more than anyone else can. My greatest disappointment in life is probably that I will never be as gorgeous and interesting as Sharon Needles. I need this. I need them. "If you can't love yourself, how in the hell are you going to love somebody else?" has become my new mantra. Especially since I think I just got ghosted. That's okay, though. My sense of self-worth still relies too heavily on the way I might be perceived by others. It's crippling emotionally and creatively, so I have to let this go. If someone can...

We're three days in- how are you holding up? I have spent way too much money this holiday season; some on medical bills, mostly on things I didn't need. I'm crip-walking into the new year because of a pinched nerve that creates a dull to unbearably piercing pain from my butt to my ankle. It's a fun new experience! I have no idea how it happened but it's been bothering me since before Christmas and I broke last Monday and went to an Urgent Care. Three hours and a missed day of work later and I have some really big Tylenol and a few muscle relaxers working on the case! I was told in another week or so it should be back to normal and if not I may need to go to an ER. Exciting stuff. This whole thing has just kept me grounded in the fear of life on my own. As you know, because I must have mentioned it like 1000 times here, me and the BF of 8 years will be separating at the end of this lease. Because I obsess over things I have allowed this to occupy a lot of my ...

I have been catching up on Last Week Tonight and I gotta say- I want John Oliver inside me. I do. I really, really do. I want that gangly very-British faced comedian all up in there. "Why?!" you ask. There's the accent, for one. I'm a sucker for an accent. Sure, it would be lovely to meet a buff black gentleman with an English accent in the way of Idris Elba- but I don't know much about Idris Elba's comedic timing. A myriad of unfortunate facial features, not that Oliver has them, could be excused with a good accent and smart comedy. I'm sure a lot of why I have tolerated Scott for so long is the fact that he can make me laugh.  Idris Elba and 8 year relationships be damned, though if I could get a chance with John Oliver. He has me considering working at the IRS! The obvious comedy goldmine that would be a career at the IRS aside- this post is not really about John Oliver and my animalistic sexual attraction toward the man. It's about...