Problematic

I have been very busy, I had some thoughts earlier today- I hate seeing homeless people smile. Do they know the secrets to happiness?! Why are you smiling when you're out on the streets? I imagine conventional theory would be that they are masking their troubles. I can accept this. The idea that they have found inner peace, however, is grating. Here is a paper on Louise Bourgeois while I consider turning my back on society: Louise Bourgeois Helping Hands Life is very tactile. People “feel” things. In Helping Hands, the sculpture Memorial to Jane Adams, Louise Bourgeois shows us how hands are capable of feeling in different ways. She shows us that hands connect and brings us into her perspective of human connection. In her work she bares herself. Her work reflects her identity and how her identity was formed by her interactions with others. The most intriguing part of the work for me is the complete and deliberate absence of connection to Jane Adams. Louise says she is “a h...

I got another A "paper."  I have a hard time determining when people's praise should be valid. Is this exciting because it really is an interesting take on things or do you just have a very shallow pool of competency to draw from? I assume most people who compliment me do so because their expectations are set pretty low. Here's my paper. It's a How-To. It's pretty juvenile. Judge away. Live Like an Artist (The Definitive Guide to Alienation In Your Early Twenties) If you have ever had the deep rooted desire to isolate yourself from friends and family you may need to seek counseling. In the event that counseling does not work, or you refuse to go, and are unsure of how to encourage detachment by your loved ones, I can help you with that.   Part One: Getting Attached Creating a cult of personality can be hard. I have found that it is easier to do when you are young. Other children are desperately looking to fit in and form bonds, which make...

Anxiety and suicidal thoughts are not a good combination. I mentioned, among other things, in my last post that I have been thinking about suicide a lot. And this is not new. Suicide was the topic of my writing class yesterday and I found myself very annoyed by the questions posited by my classmates. I didn't admit I am suicidal. There's a lot of stigma to being suicidal and just saying you are suicidal makes it seem like you just want attention. So I will admit to that now: I definitely want attention. I also detest the idea of attention. I am bothered by the notion that I am not hit on in public spaces like some of my friends- but I am very aware that I put off an unapproachable vibe. I do not want to be approached. I don't. But I do. I don't think this is anxiety. There are a lot of things that carry a stigma. I try to admit these parts of myself here because it's very public but still somewhat anonymous. I assume the majority of the people I know will neve...

It has been a week since my 27th birthday. I did not have any real celebration. I worked. And went to school. Since then I have lost half my department and come home to find my boyfriend trying to cheat on me. He assured me that he did not go through with it. With all of this going on I forgot that I had a birthday. I have a lot of school work, too, but in that I am at least getting As. I will have to look for a new job soon because everyone keeps quitting due to the mismanagement of the department and it is getting to be too much. I have been thinking of suicide a lot, as I tend to do, and it has only increased daily. I will probably go back on my medication so I can stop being such a drama queen. Here's a piece I wrote on identity for my art class- all my writing has been terrible but I am somehow doing well: Identity, like any abstract, has many different meanings and is taken differently by different people. I think it is a concept that is understood innately but is ha...

I have been catching up on Last Week Tonight and I gotta say- I want John Oliver inside me. I do. I really, really do. I want that gangly very-British faced comedian all up in there. "Why?!" you ask. There's the accent, for one. I'm a sucker for an accent. Sure, it would be lovely to meet a buff black gentleman with an English accent in the way of Idris Elba- but I don't know much about Idris Elba's comedic timing. A myriad of unfortunate facial features, not that Oliver has them, could be excused with a good accent and smart comedy. I'm sure a lot of why I have tolerated Scott for so long is the fact that he can make me laugh.  Idris Elba and 8 year relationships be damned, though if I could get a chance with John Oliver. He has me considering working at the IRS! The obvious comedy goldmine that would be a career at the IRS aside- this post is not really about John Oliver and my animalistic sexual attraction toward the man. It's about...