Problematic

I like to imagine this is just a terribly one-sided conversation. I'm kind of a selfish friend, so it works out pretty well. I like to think if you read this regularly we're just kind of coming together to hangout. Sometimes we may be drinking coffee, sometimes we may be drinking wine, who knows- the beverage options are endless! We chat for three to five minutes about things that range from John Oliver to the inane and then I disappear from your life for days to weeks at a time. POOF! My other desire, I have just now recognized, is for this blog to be one of the top search results when someone looks for John Oliver. And then the restraining order comes. I have pulled my GPA up in two semesters from a 1.7 to a 3.0. My youth was spent in self-medicated tears, so the 3.0 is a more accurate indicator of my capabilities. I'm a B as a person. Not particularly exceptional, but better than passing. I guess the 1.7 was pretty accurate too, I have been a mess. I'm just...

I will have to invest some time in properly formatting this blog at some point. I have no idea what I want it to look like, but on a whim I decided to go back through the templates today. I discovered this rainy one that I felt was absolutely perfect. How dreary! Cloudy, sad, little blog. I also wanted to share my Spotify profile- for no real reason other than I have been sinking into a nostalgic melancholy of sound and I want you to be able to fall into the whine-based music of the mid-2000's with me. It's all The Decemberists, Interpol and The Killers around here. The Killers is probably the thing that most pains me to acknowledge of my former musical taste. This is particularly insulting to The Killers because I also hold a special place in my very twee heart for The Postal Service. Somehow the bizarre Mormon sound is still more shameful. Anyway, I wanted to share my Spotify profile, but I could not figure it out. I am blind to the correct use of Blogger. It is probably ...

I got another A "paper."  I have a hard time determining when people's praise should be valid. Is this exciting because it really is an interesting take on things or do you just have a very shallow pool of competency to draw from? I assume most people who compliment me do so because their expectations are set pretty low. Here's my paper. It's a How-To. It's pretty juvenile. Judge away. Live Like an Artist (The Definitive Guide to Alienation In Your Early Twenties) If you have ever had the deep rooted desire to isolate yourself from friends and family you may need to seek counseling. In the event that counseling does not work, or you refuse to go, and are unsure of how to encourage detachment by your loved ones, I can help you with that.   Part One: Getting Attached Creating a cult of personality can be hard. I have found that it is easier to do when you are young. Other children are desperately looking to fit in and form bonds, which make...

Anxiety and suicidal thoughts are not a good combination. I mentioned, among other things, in my last post that I have been thinking about suicide a lot. And this is not new. Suicide was the topic of my writing class yesterday and I found myself very annoyed by the questions posited by my classmates. I didn't admit I am suicidal. There's a lot of stigma to being suicidal and just saying you are suicidal makes it seem like you just want attention. So I will admit to that now: I definitely want attention. I also detest the idea of attention. I am bothered by the notion that I am not hit on in public spaces like some of my friends- but I am very aware that I put off an unapproachable vibe. I do not want to be approached. I don't. But I do. I don't think this is anxiety. There are a lot of things that carry a stigma. I try to admit these parts of myself here because it's very public but still somewhat anonymous. I assume the majority of the people I know will neve...

I turned 27 yesterday. It was terrible. I have eleven months to become successful and die a hero to other morbid little artists. In the meantime I have written a few terrible papers I will start sharing. Here is the first. The title is a joke about a terrible article I had to read in class: Is $10,000 Really Worth It? What insight do hypotheticals offer to the morality of those we pose them to? Is a greater understanding of human nature what we are looking for when we construct hypotheticals? I believe the intent of a question like “What would you do?” is as much to have the receiver question themselves as it is to gather information. As human beings we understand that our moral compass is largely set by the circumstances in which we were raised, and these inherent differences add intrigue to conversation. The answer to what I would do if an ATM mistakenly discharged $10,000 into my care is in part a coming of age story. Of course, I would immediately give it back. As...