I Hope You're Happy In The End

I spent a lot of the morning listening to musicals. I am trying to keep up with writing one, you see. My goal is to finish writing it within a year. I don't know if I could manage by the end of the year. I am not sure how long a musical should be at this point. As far as script length anyway.

My philosophy of science class is in a Philosophy Seminar room. It's quite cozy. An absence is noticeable. The class has gotten steadily smaller over the last few weeks, but I think the attendees have plateaued. I can't imagine anyone else falling off. Although no one is particularly engaged. There is this one boy, that I watch out of the corner of my eye. He's attractive and he nods along as the professor is speaking, as though he is having a private conversation that warrants a response. I imagine the professor appreciates it because of the glazed expressions and lack of eye-contact he receives otherwise.

I am currently in a crowded coffee shop. It's called Bennu, and it has a quite peculiar lay out. I'm in a nook that looks like it may have been re-purposed from a bar. I reminds me of a library, or a train car. I think it's the over-hanging lighting. Over-hanging might not be the correct term. It's amazing, the more you write, the more terms that you have to look up. They're track-lights embedded in the odd little window the leaves me uncomfortably facing a girl who is trying to study. She seemed disappointed in my sitting down. I can understand her frustration. I would feel the same way if I had a surface to myself. A private study nook. This is a public space, though, and so we must make concessions. She looks like a girl I used to know. I've seen the girl around, though, and she typically ties her hair back and wears more "alternative" jewelry- gauges and the like.

The music here is good. Mellow, ambient, reminiscent of the pseudo-indie rock I listened to in the aughts. As pretentiously labeled a time as I was living in it. It's all dreamy staring-out-the-passenger-window-in-a-Volkswagen-commercial music. I wonder who holds the record to the longest hyphenated description. There should be a record. For the ages. Past the dystopia of the Trump presidency.

We watched the presidential debates last night. It was weird because this is the most I have ever been engaged in politics. It's possible this is the most I have ever been engaged in life. I brought Munchies, Takis, and two-bite brownies because I was not sure what to do as a guest for a debate-watch. The collective smoked something out of an interesting conduit that I was told was marijuana oil, and, so, much more potent. I'm not good at smoking, and I have historically not felt much when I do it, so I declined. I imagine even when we are proper grown-ups we will not likely give up our extracurricular activities. Unless someone throws an intervention. But one of us would have to get clean first. Or we could throw an intervention potluck. We each bring a friend we think needs an intervention. And we drink. And muse on opening an opium den as we bemoan our lack of good drug connections. Perhaps one day one of us will be on the proper medication, and then we could get help for the others. Until then I imagine we will just continue to grow our circle of half-humans with good intentions and horrid lifestyles. Still, a lot of our formative moments have included drugs, alcohol and awkward jokes on serious topics, so it would have been unreasonable to expect last night to be different.

It was hard to keep focused because of how repetitive Donald tends to be. It was great reading articles this morning, though, about Hillary exclusively using his first name as a way to highlight that he has no experience that even warrants him being on the same stage as her. He truly shouldn't be, and if it weren't for a somewhat racist backlash to President Obama I don't think he would be. That's probably the saddest part. The president did little to merit such rage. Every presidency has it's failings, but he did a lot of good as well. At the very least I can't imagine us ever having a more charismatic president again...but I would be really disappointed to go from our cool black dad to a mean, angry, irrational drunk dad. A drumpf dad. I would rather have a weird, power hungry and out of touch grandmother. Someone who is always trying to one up her neighbors at the HOA meetings, but wants to be loved so she bakes cookies all the time and asks you to teach her how to take a selfie. America is a like a large family in many ways- and it should be guided by someone who wants what's best for the family. Not someone who pretty selfishly wants to harangue us into following in his footsteps and taking over the family business. The only reason he wants to build the wall is so that he can brand it. A gaudy symbol of the new America.

I don't want it. I don't really want America anymore because I think there are large swaths of people who are trying to avoid globalization. In reaction to globalization there are waves of hatred that are connecting cultures almost as much as industry. It's most visible in the way some European nations are treating their refugees- but it is an exercise in futility. Donald is our representative in this race to the bottom. It's a decent showing.

There's no way we can ever go back, though. We shouldn't want to, but it would be much more work than it's worth at this point if you think about it. The internet has changed things. We can't pretend other nations don't exist now. We can't overlook atrocities for long. We can't keep people from other countries from selling things online. We can't erase the quick influences of any one culture on another because travel is easier and virtual engagement is prevalent. I mean, maybe we could build walls along all the borders- I think I know a guy who wants to get into that business.


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