Problematic

 I cry, all the time. In the middle of the night when no one is awake to see is the best time. I hate crying in front of Collin. I cry, and I try to think of something else to do but there's nothing that cuts through the exhaustion. I just want to be ok. I just want to be able to do my school work without running out of steam. It's pretty outside and I want to go outside and run...but the call to just lie down is so much stronger. I don't even sleep. I just lie in bed thinking of almost nothing. I saw my psychiatrist today. A new one. She's nice. She seems bright and has good energy. She thanked me for sharing. She really seemed to want to work with me. I just want things to be fixed. I just want to stop being overwhelmed when other people seem to be powering through so well. I want to get back to my writing. And painting. I want to get away from the constant pain and lethargy. I can barely work. I can barely make up the energy to see the few people I'm allowed to s