The Worst Thing to Happen to Him
There is ambient music coming from the apartment above and when I step outside it smells like a dive bar. But a perfume of rain rides the breeze through the corridor.
I bought a car. This car is mine. I saved (briefly) and made the down payment myself.
I suppose this is something I should have been able to do by now. And it probably was possible, I just didn't have a reason to before I decided I didn't want the car Scott helped me get.
Upon reflection, this has been a pretty good experience. I have learned I can sustain myself in a town that is becoming prohibitively expensive. I have bought myself necessities. Well, not necessities per se, but the things people often associate with the most basic level of adulthood. I got a matching set of pots and pans, dishes, a bed, a TV, a new laptop and now a car. And I love my new car. I love the freedom and growth it represents. It's perfect in every way. I may be paying a bit much on interest, but the "finance guy" recommended I refinance in 6 months and I should get a much better rate. Apparently having a car increases your credit rating better than taking credit cards and keeping them paid off.
I spent the day cleaning my apartment, which I haven't done in a while. I picked up packages. I got a horrible breakfast which I tried to make up for with a reasonable lunch and rounded off with some Baileys and soft cheese with Triscuits. It's been a wonderful day. It's been a productive day.
I took some time to (very) briefly practice ballet. I am terrible at it, but I am not deterred. I am not going to give up on it or ice skating, which I am worse at because it is a far less stable-feeling extracurricular. Balancing on one taught leg is kind of hard, but at least I can feel the ground.
I outright gave up on yoga. Not really because it was hard, it has just been the kind of thing I feel comfortable with blowing off.
I also kind of gave up on my novel. After getting as far as a novelette I decided that it was terrible and I hated it and myself. Whether I will ever get over that remains to be seen. I am going to presume I will not at this point because this is the farthest I have ever gotten to completing a writing project so I'm a bit deflated by the sense that it is no where near what I imagined. Especially because I am technically working from my imagination, so there's really no excuse for there being any dissonance. I considered for a few seconds about a week ago that I might not suck, but I was quickly dissuaded of that ridiculous theory.
However, at this point I did not have my new-car-owner confidence. It's possible this will change everything.
A side note: I once took the time to watch every new show that I could find premiering on all the major networks (except CBS, until they stop sucking Chuck Lorre's dick they're dead to me), but I have not done so in a couple of seasons. I have considered that I might want to catch up, but there are a few things that I just don't want to subject myself to. I think this process was ruined the moment I pushed through Designated Survivor and realized that even though the show is garbage it will survive on the essence of terrorist fighting ghosts that fuels Kiefer Sutherland. And American Housewife has remained a thing. It just feels like there's no reason to wade into the garbage so you don't have to because you are going to elect to do it anyway and keep it alive while gems like Great News are ground into irrelevance.
The point of this is- on occasion, I do watch a show that I want to be good but then decide will not be, and I am sometimes wrong about this. Like with Crazy Ex-Girlfriend...it has it's moments. And I found that 9-1-1 also has it's moments. I should not have doubted the power of Angela Bassett and Connie Britton. If someone threw Viola Davis and Amirah Vann into the mix it would be a never ending sequence of powerhouse performances. That might be a bit much, actually. Anyway, it, like Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, has it's moments. It felt at first like there was not enough time spent with the main characters for the audience to connect, but too much time to be a proper procedural (after all, Olivia Benson has virtually no life, and we need her to stay that way, she's part of an elite squad). I have learned, after watching a few episodes, and skipping past one that was particularly annoying, that the procedural kind of leans into the individual dramas and links them thematically...which is actually kind of fun. It's a little kitsch, but it is a Ryan Murphy show, so what were you expecting? Anyway, it's slated to get another season, so you might as well jump in. Hopefully this doesn't have a terrible sophomore showing like Scream Queens.
And I still refuse to watch Rise.
I bought a car. This car is mine. I saved (briefly) and made the down payment myself.
I suppose this is something I should have been able to do by now. And it probably was possible, I just didn't have a reason to before I decided I didn't want the car Scott helped me get.
Upon reflection, this has been a pretty good experience. I have learned I can sustain myself in a town that is becoming prohibitively expensive. I have bought myself necessities. Well, not necessities per se, but the things people often associate with the most basic level of adulthood. I got a matching set of pots and pans, dishes, a bed, a TV, a new laptop and now a car. And I love my new car. I love the freedom and growth it represents. It's perfect in every way. I may be paying a bit much on interest, but the "finance guy" recommended I refinance in 6 months and I should get a much better rate. Apparently having a car increases your credit rating better than taking credit cards and keeping them paid off.
I spent the day cleaning my apartment, which I haven't done in a while. I picked up packages. I got a horrible breakfast which I tried to make up for with a reasonable lunch and rounded off with some Baileys and soft cheese with Triscuits. It's been a wonderful day. It's been a productive day.
I took some time to (very) briefly practice ballet. I am terrible at it, but I am not deterred. I am not going to give up on it or ice skating, which I am worse at because it is a far less stable-feeling extracurricular. Balancing on one taught leg is kind of hard, but at least I can feel the ground.
I outright gave up on yoga. Not really because it was hard, it has just been the kind of thing I feel comfortable with blowing off.
I also kind of gave up on my novel. After getting as far as a novelette I decided that it was terrible and I hated it and myself. Whether I will ever get over that remains to be seen. I am going to presume I will not at this point because this is the farthest I have ever gotten to completing a writing project so I'm a bit deflated by the sense that it is no where near what I imagined. Especially because I am technically working from my imagination, so there's really no excuse for there being any dissonance. I considered for a few seconds about a week ago that I might not suck, but I was quickly dissuaded of that ridiculous theory.
However, at this point I did not have my new-car-owner confidence. It's possible this will change everything.
A side note: I once took the time to watch every new show that I could find premiering on all the major networks (except CBS, until they stop sucking Chuck Lorre's dick they're dead to me), but I have not done so in a couple of seasons. I have considered that I might want to catch up, but there are a few things that I just don't want to subject myself to. I think this process was ruined the moment I pushed through Designated Survivor and realized that even though the show is garbage it will survive on the essence of terrorist fighting ghosts that fuels Kiefer Sutherland. And American Housewife has remained a thing. It just feels like there's no reason to wade into the garbage so you don't have to because you are going to elect to do it anyway and keep it alive while gems like Great News are ground into irrelevance.
The point of this is- on occasion, I do watch a show that I want to be good but then decide will not be, and I am sometimes wrong about this. Like with Crazy Ex-Girlfriend...it has it's moments. And I found that 9-1-1 also has it's moments. I should not have doubted the power of Angela Bassett and Connie Britton. If someone threw Viola Davis and Amirah Vann into the mix it would be a never ending sequence of powerhouse performances. That might be a bit much, actually. Anyway, it, like Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, has it's moments. It felt at first like there was not enough time spent with the main characters for the audience to connect, but too much time to be a proper procedural (after all, Olivia Benson has virtually no life, and we need her to stay that way, she's part of an elite squad). I have learned, after watching a few episodes, and skipping past one that was particularly annoying, that the procedural kind of leans into the individual dramas and links them thematically...which is actually kind of fun. It's a little kitsch, but it is a Ryan Murphy show, so what were you expecting? Anyway, it's slated to get another season, so you might as well jump in. Hopefully this doesn't have a terrible sophomore showing like Scream Queens.
And I still refuse to watch Rise.
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