Charmer

I don't know how many times I'm going to have to say "It's cool."

My mom has cancer. Oh my god, I'm so sorry. It's cool.

I'm happy with her. It's cool.

My mom is dead. It's cool.

So much of my life is being swept under the feeling- "It's cool."

Resignation. My life is a long resignation.

"To whom it may concern,

It is with a heavy heart that I must formally depart from Life, LLC. There have been some incredibly good moments, but I fear I am overwhelmed by the feeling that I just don't fit the culture. I wish you all the best in acquiring a replacement.

Sincerely,
Me"

I'm Cookie in the cat shirt and she's Anika coming in when things go sour. But you know what? Cookie and Lucious are fucking terrible together...and Anika seems to honestly make him happy. So maybe Cookie just needs to let it go. I know I just need to let it go. It doesn't feel great though to have lost your best friend after 9 years. Cookie doesn't need to be making a mess, breaking things down, she has her success. She did more time than I did, so I can't judge. Plus Lucious actually seems to love her. I can only relate to TV so Myex will never love me like that. But I need to walk away just the same. Not all circumstances have to be the same, but I have to walk away. I can't walk away from my mother's cancer. I can't walk away from my family as much as I've tried...but I can let them be as happy as they will. As messy as it might be.

This episode has been brought you by awkward conversations with friends and the newest episode of Empire.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Flower of Evil

As It Was

Murder on the Dance Floor