I woke up at 5am, ate an English muffin with some peanut butter, downed a bottled Starbucks and packed my gear bag for a half marathon I was completely unprepared for. I am currently tottering around painfully, like a young Bambi, uncertain of how to make my less elegant limbs function the way the rest of the world does so surely.

I made it though. I finished. And running a half marathon with absolutely no training is a great metaphor for how I have lived- running at first, unsure of what I am doing, realizing I am in over my head, then walking the rest of the way. "This isn't ideal, but better than expected, you're not dead last, and you better finish, bitch" was my mantra. The last two miles were the absolute worst. This was my second day of using portapotties, and I am pretty sure I peed a little bit while running. I can't imagine how badly a full marathon would have gone. I'd like to do that sometime, though. And maybe a triathlon? More things to run into head first and stumble through.

This weekend was probably not the best for it, either, to be fair. I started by volunteering at the inaugural protest in town, then tabling at the Women's March on Saturday, which was possibly more tiring. Standing for two hours in one spot is surprisingly difficult. So this weekend was already a little more physical than most. To my credit- I managed to take my medication every morning!! So that's three days in a row- which is totally meaningless, because anti-depressants take 4 weeks to kick in...but it's three days of consistency. I want to incorporate a couple of other things into this new life of habits. Practicing language every day. And piano. I haven't played since I learned how to very slowly, and unevenly, pick out Jingle Bells. That day The Kitten didn't attack me, so I assume I did well. I guess cooking, too, but that's low on the list of priorities.

This next week is going to be intense, too. Work, therapy, hair appointment, parkour and then I drive to Houston to see my father. I don't know what I am going to do with him. I was thinking of taking him to the new Scorcese movie. I think he likes those. I should clean my care before that. And that's another thing. My tires deflated a little earlier last week and I don't know if I should go get them checked before my trip. I mean, I probably should, but I will probably gamble it, and then end up sobbing on the side of the road when they blow out.

So that's where we are now...things are evening out. I'm probably at a slow trot, but it still feels like I just started running.


Popular Posts