Researching

My first ponderance- I wonder why "Pretend to be Nice" has gotten so many views.

Secondly- I have begun two writing projects. One- a musical, I will go into later. The other is a yet undefined project regarding relationships. I suppose that was what I was marketing this blog on originally, and I will probably post a bit about the research I am doing for it as I go.

The focus, I think...is a nuanced approach to love. I'm sure it's probably been done before, but I haven't read that book so I don't care. We're all looking for nuances. Subtle nuances that are revealed to be the same across the board. Wide sweeping generalizations of nuance that we can apply to our own lives. I particularly want to pin-point the beginning of a love affair and whether there is any indication from an early stage as to whether the relationship will succeed. What is the dynamic structure of our great loves? Is it possible to have both a hot, frenzied, at times comically tragic romance that overcomes amazing obstacles and a stable, understanding and easy relationship? Is it better to have common interests or common perspectives? Do some people put aside the attractiveness of their partner in favor of someone whom they are able to more easily talk to? To that end is it just a manner of logic that they would not attempt to leave their partner for their celebrity crush if they were given the chance? Although, I don't like that last one so much because I don't like to rely on hypotheticals to analyze a relationship.

Relationships might need some estimations on hypothetical situations but I think hypotheticals about cheating are always a little skewed.

I also feel like I know some very interesting people and I am worried at times that their stories will die unrecognized. I would like to be a symbiotic vehicle for each-others' recognition in history and time.

Time and history? It's embarrassing how much time I spent looking up the correct way to write "each-others'". I probably could have stuck to either time or history, but I kind of like being superlative. In many regards.

I think I have to just write as quickly and often as possible now because it's getting harder to keep my focus on one project. I have admitted that part of this is likely because I have been in the most prominent manic period of my adult life--but I do not want to come out of this phase so I have further resisted taking my medication. I am worried about losing momentum as I go into what could be my last couple of years in college. I need to plan that out a little bit more, which has taken a good deal of research and despair on it's own, but I am almost certain if I push I can get it done in the next two to two and a half years. Then it's on to law school and possibly never-ending debts with little to no extra income yielded!! Yayy!!

I'm incredibly sleepy. I also may have developed a small cold because I kept getting caught in the rain, as it is apparently monsoon season in Austin.

There will be more to come- as I know I have been giving more snippets of what is going on lately that create more questions than answers.

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