Nerves

Tonight I was spurned to a terrible thing- community building. I am well outside of my comfort zone.

This has been a rough month in keeping up with this blog, I'm sorry. I need to even out my schedule. I should be writing every day. I have honestly been writing quite often but a lot of it has been papers that are not exceedingly interesting (though I have been getting decent marks on them.)

Outside of this I am planning to begin my reviews of fall premieres but there are a few more that I need to catch up on over the weekend. My last small project is this odd "drawing a day" thing I found on Facebook that I want to keep up with. Oh, and I have begun studying French and Spanish again. Soon my brain will implode.

Speaking of, I made the mistake of speaking to my mother the other day and was met with some questions that are becoming somewhat common. People have taken to asking me how I am going to deal with being alone. Another fun conversation has been why? Why are you separating? If you love each other and aren't constantly fighting and unhappy? Why?

I feel like I have been down this path before. It's a feeling I have been getting a lot lately- I suppose it's deja vu but there is a sinister undertone. It feels more like forgetting than remembering a dream. I think there has been some research on this recently.

Anyway, I cannot really answer the questions that are posed. I cannot speak to the happiness of my partner, but I understand that we have grown apart. We have come to the conclusion, or I have and he agrees to spare my feelings, that people may not be meant for relationships as permanent as they once were. There may be some, but I think this takes a much larger degree of compatibility and willingness to compromise than either of us contain. I am not a huge fan of compromise. In fact, the latest season of the Mindy Project has been gnawing at me with it's depictions of two people willing to compromise. It always feels like Mindy is giving more.

I'm sorry, this post was awful, I have been studying quite a bit and sleeping far less. I will try better tomorrow.

Comments

Popular Posts