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Showing posts from May, 2015

Cherries Are Really Good Right Now

They must be in season? I don't really keep up with fruit seasons. I assume blueberries are in season because it's not fucking FIVE DOLLARS per pint!! I highly recommend cherries at the moment. An Update: My fascination with porn has waned. As my fascination with most things tend to do. I feel like I should clarify something- I did briefly mention that I don't masturbate. I want to make sure it's out there that I don't necessarily find anything wrong with masturbation. Go ahead, have at yourself, I won't judge. I do find female masturbation kind of icky though. I realize this is a juvenile way of looking at sexuality- but I don't like things that are moist. I'm sorry. I probably wouldn't make a good lesbian. I don't do dishes if they've been left in the sink. I hate raw tomatoes. I'm a hard pass on slimy moisture even if it's for self-gratification. Luckily, vaginas are worth a little more as sexual real-estate, so I can typica

An Awkward Phase

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I have been catching up on Last Week Tonight and I gotta say- I want John Oliver inside me. I do. I really, really do. I want that gangly very-British faced comedian all up in there. "Why?!" you ask. There's the accent, for one. I'm a sucker for an accent. Sure, it would be lovely to meet a buff black gentleman with an English accent in the way of Idris Elba- but I don't know much about Idris Elba's comedic timing. A myriad of unfortunate facial features, not that Oliver has them, could be excused with a good accent and smart comedy. I'm sure a lot of why I have tolerated Scott for so long is the fact that he can make me laugh.  Idris Elba and 8 year relationships be damned, though if I could get a chance with John Oliver. He has me considering working at the IRS! The obvious comedy goldmine that would be a career at the IRS aside- this post is not really about John Oliver and my animalistic sexual attraction toward the man. It's about

I've Never Been to Trader Joes

Today I take my Microeconomics final that should have been optional, but I failed myself. My over-all course grade is a B right now, so here I am trying to get 13 extra points so I can end this semester with 2 As. Of course, the bulk of yesterday was spent looking at Groupon Getaways and calculating drive time from Austin to various locations of interest around the country. I hate living in Texas most when I consider how long it takes to drive across it. The truth is I have only been outside of Texas twice in my life: a trip for dental work for my mother in Mexico and a trip for alcohol poisoning in New Orleans.  The first trip should be a good indicator of the economic conditions in which I grew up: poor.  The low representation of real poverty and struggle in the American sitcom is odd considering in 2011 40% of American families held 13.1% of American wealth and fewer people consider themselves to be "middle class." Sure, being poor and growing up poor shouldn&

New Blog Name!!

Thirty is the new twenty was apparently the new catch phrase 2 years ago- this made it a less than ideal blog name. Who knows if "Problematic" will be any better? It is the working title of the sitcom this is all "really about" though, so I might as well use it until I can think of something clever. Why "Problematic" as the working title? Well, it is a show about people with psychiatric disorders, people of color and lower income twenty somethings so problematic seems like a really good fit. A good description of the time. And I like one word titles.

I Have Been Spending Way Too Much

The title has nothing to do with the post. Right now I am watching Amy Schumer and mourning. The list of shows that got cut from Fall 2015 is coming out and I lose friends every year to the culling. (Television is my only true friend.) With the end of Parks and Recreation and the cancellation of the Mindy Project I feel like female driven comedy took a big hit on network TV this season. This is especially surprising because the season started with so many romcoms- maybe too many romcoms. It is entirely possible that romcoms are a very cheap way of appealing to female viewership (I'm looking at you, Manhattan Love Story .) However, beyond the four romcoms that premiered this season there were several comedies that starred a female lead and two of those female leads were women of color!! That brought female driven comedies starring a woman of color up to three shows. THREE SHOWS TOTAL. And now there is one. Don't get me wrong, Jane the Virgin is fantastic and probably th

Things I Should Be Doing

Studying. What I am doing: catching up on Jane the Virgin and Last Man on Earth. JtV- terrific as always. Although, I'm still on the fence about Rafael's lips. Sure, he has an AMAZING smile, but resting face very much resembles one of those male Bratz dolls. Is that really the future I want for Jane? Probably. I'd hit that. Like I said- AMAZING smile. I'm a sucker for a great smile. What I would not hit: Last Man on Earth. Even if it were the last man on Earth. I was really intrigued by the concept of a one man sitcom to be honest...primarily because it seemed like such a hard gimmick to pull off. ::SPOILERS:: it does not solely star Will Forte. IT DOES really center on Will Forte and how pathetic he is. At least so far, I've caught up to Episode 6, which I feel is enough time to set the tone of a sitcom. Really the tone for a show should be set by the second or third episode, I think. I wouldn't expect to gain viewership off of the 4th episode. People exp

Exam 2 Part 2- Part Deux, If You Will

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Note, Children, that studying is more effective if you can relate the material you are learning to things you already know. Time is a flat circle, you see. It is even more effective if you can explain what you are learning for other people who are not in your course. In diffusing education you are also generating a positive externality and externalities just happen to be part of my Microeconomics exams! Yayy!! So let me explain some things to you- it's time to get your learn on. An externality is the uncompensated impact of one person's actions on the well-being of a bystander. In this case, you, blog-reader, are outside of the exchange that is occurring between myself and Austin Community College, but are being effected by this exchange, because I am imparting some of my knowledge base on to you for no cost! (How lucky of you! But only *I* will get the degree...maybe...) Externalities are not all free information and kitten hugs- there are negative externalities that soc

Exam 2

I'm having a hard time with cohesive thought. I haven't been sleeping well. Luckily, in a week my first semester is over. Unfortunately, before that I have exams. And finals, if I do atrociously on my exams. And work- forever. You'll be happy to know that the next semester includes a writing course. Hopefully, that will make the quality (maybe even quantity?) of these posts better. In the interim my next couple of exams are written exams and I find trying to outline the material difficult. I can't remember how this went in semesters long ago so I can't predict whether I will succeed. Mindy Kaling recently 'grammed a photo of her essay topics for her next book so I feel I should consider at this point: what would Mindy Kaling do? Probably take another photo with an awesome gift she got for being a well known public figure. Damn, I wish that were an option. It would probably be better to consider what Mindy would do pre-fame but I haven't finished her fir